29 October, 2006
havent been posting for such a veryveryveeeeeeeryyyyyyy long time, it seemed like time has stopped for me.

i read my own blog. and everyone else's that i care about.

for now, life hasnt been all that good. i dont know when it started, but life for me now is just as grey as my surroundings. no more distinct black and white.

its tiring, you know.
to try to keep up and fit in seamlessly when you feel you're not really welcome.
it feels cheap.
i dont like being in the middle, especially when i feel like im obliged to do something to try keep it together...
i like all of you. its just, HAIIIYAH. wah i say haiyah damn often nowadays.

i hate it when so much is being kept back that misunderstandings start to take root and everyone starts to feel too paiseh to voice out their uncertainties.
everything just seems to blur and you wonder if you even know these pple at all. its just not a good feeling, and its worse when pple just resign to it, dismiss it off as something that'll happen eventually

i hate feeling uncertain, especially when the pple in question are supposedly ur good friends.
so. HAIYAH everybody needs to talk and trash this out

while we still can.

5:19 pm*